Absent for Far Too Long

Let’s start here. I lost my want to write. I lost my want to express myself. I lost my want to put myself out there.

Why? I have an idea of what happened and it revolves around stress. Too much stress in my life had me giving up things that meant so much to me, but luckily for me I conquered my stress.

Honestly, I’m back with a more open mind. With a better understanding of myself. With a want to be more present in my life. With a stronger will.

I realize know that for every negative there is a positive. It may be hard to see. You may have to take a step back and look at the situation. It may be drawn out and the positive hasn’t happened yet, but it will.

When I realized what I had allowed myself to do, I took the necessary steps to turn it all back on. It was kind of like my main power breaker had been switched off. Now that I have switched it on, my house is blindingly beautiful.

What did I do to rid myself of the stress? Well, I let go of past events that I was holding on to. I quit one of my jobs. I almost quit both of my jobs. I also took a few steps to strengthen my mind. I was so over the stress that I wanted to drop everything to get my mind and body right.

One of the steps for me was realization. I stepped back from my life and looked at it from a distance. What I saw was not satisfactory to me. I knew that I was capable of more. I knew that I had skills to offer people in my life and I was not using them.

Another step was meditation and bible study. These two put together were a powerful combination. I realized that I have control of my feeling and of my life by the grace of God. Every day the Lord is shining a light down on me. It is my choice whether to hide in the dark or bask in his glorious light.

Last, I put my practices all back together. I started to write in my journal again. I started my daily tasks again. I replaced negative self-talk with positive self-talk. I took deep breaths and watched life around me.

Now that my spirit is blindingly bright, I feel like I can continue with the things that I am most passionate about, running, writing, photography, and painting.

My hope for this article is that it will be my start to regularly posting every 2 weeks. My hope is that you read this and see my enthusiasm for life has returned and that you are filled with your own enthusiasm to go out into the world, to do what you love because we all should do what we love. It is what we deserve.

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